Death
by perpetualpathology
Summary: Following Arthur Digby's death, Zosia finds herself unable to return to the flat that holds so many memories of her best friend so she finds solace from an unlikely source after the terrible day she's had.


**Sorry I haven't published anything in a while but I'm right in the middle of my exams at the moment so I've got a lot of revising to do. This was just an idea that I had following last night's very emotional episode – you'd think I'd cry when Arthur died but instead it was Zosia collapsing and Jac hugging her that set me off! It's part of my 100 prompt challenge and is for** ** _Rosie Marcel Was Pregnant_** **who gave me a prompt word of 'Death'. Hope you like it :)**

 **18/100**

* * *

 **Death**

"He's dead." Zosia whimpered over the shoulder that had straight auburn hair flowing over it. After her knees had begun to quiver and gave way under her weight, she had collapsed on the floor. But she had been comforted by the most unlikely source and Zosia was gripping her boss rather tightly purely to stop her hands from shaking. All she could think of in her mind was her best friend dying; slipping away from everyone who loved him whilst he had no idea what was happening in his semi-unconscious, sedated state. But then her mind came back to reality and she realised that she was on her knees on the floor in the middle of Darwin, hugging the woman whom she had been bickering with all day. "I'm sorry." She gasped as she pulled away and rose to her feet, stumbling a little as she did so. She looked into the eyes of Jac Naylor waiting for her to say something sarcastic or to order her to pull herself together but instead she saw a calm, subdued side to the woman, as though she had muted her own personality.

"It's normal. Anything you do or say is normal in a situation like this; there's no right or wrong thing to do Zosia." Jac spoke unhurriedly.

"Arthur's dead." She repeated. The young woman was at the height of emotion with tears rolling down her cheeks and her heart thumping a little too fast in her chest. "I haven't even seen him today; I left the apartment before he was woke up–" Zosia gasped.

"It doesn't matter." Jac shook her head. "Think of all the time you've spent with him since you two met – half an hour this morning wouldn't have made any difference. Whether you saw him or not, he's still the Arthur Digby that you persuaded me to operate on and it's because of you that his last week was relatively comfortable and painless. That's something you can't forget, regardless of what it had to do with your career or your relationship with me – the stent may not have bought him any more time but if it weren't for your actions, he would've spent the last week of his life on ECMO and you know how much patients suffer on that." Jac stated. Zosia nodded in acceptance as she tried to contemplate her own future. She was being selfish and she knew that but she couldn't think of anyone else but her and Arthur Digby as she tried to contemplate what the near future would hold for her.

"How am I supposed to go home? All his things are there; his tablets are in alphabetical order on the kitchen side, his figurines are on the breakfast bar, his–"

"You'll move then when you and Dom and Morven are ready to do so." Jac replied. "But for tonight, you can spend the night in my spare room if you want to." The reluctance was clearly present in her voice but Jac offered anyway, knowing that one uncomfortable night wouldn't come close to what her junior doctor was feeling at that moment. "You don't _have_ to but the offer is there. Though I will warn you, you'll be putting up with a two year old who has just discovered that full-blown tantrums exist and that they are particularly effective when she's out in public or when other people are around." Jac stated and Zosia laughed for a few seconds before she regained composure.

"She takes after her mother then." Zosia joked but when Jac raised her eyebrows in astonishment at the comment, she immediately regretted insulting the woman who was, for once, being kind to her. "Sorry, I didn't mean–"

"Like most things you've said today, I'll forget about it." Jac hinted at both of their arguments that had happened on a single eight hour shift. "I'll be leaving in about twenty minutes." She began as she put her hand on Zosia's shoulder. "If you want to come to mine, meet me downstairs in the café and I'll give you a lift. I've just got to pick Emma from the crèche up first." Her hand slipped off of her shoulder before the senior doctor disappeared in the direction of her office.

* * *

"Jac." Guy spoke to get the attention of the woman who was focused on the paperwork on her desk going over her theatre schedule for the following day so she would come into work tomorrow fully prepared for whatever may occur, as she did at the end of every shift.

"What?" She sighed.

"I um, I saw what happened when Zoshie received the news about Arthur."

"And you thought you'd let me deal with your own daughter's grief instead of stepping in?" Jac protested.

"The last time Zosia was bereaved was when her mother died and I wasn't the first person she wanted to speak to then."

"If I remember rightly, I believe that's probably because you were hanging out with your friends Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker." Jac quipped.

"I didn't come here to be insulted; I just wanted to thank you though now I have no idea why." Guy confessed. "She's fragile right now and I just wanted to remind you, as her boss, that her mental health comes before her career so if she needs time off..."

"No it doesn't." Jac mused to herself. "Her mental health is not more important than becoming a doctor."

"What? How on Earth could you think her job is more important than bipolar disorder?" He protested.

"I don't, I'm saying they're even." Jac corrected him. "It sounds extreme but if she was perfectly fine mentally but she could no longer practice as a doctor she wouldn't be happy. Just the same as she can't be a good doctor with mental health problems. She has to find the balance between knowing when her disorder limits her and knowing when she can push herself." She explained.

"And you can help her find that balance, can you? A woman who has been bullying my daughter all day–"

"I have unorthodox methods but they _work."_ She snapped. "Zosia learnt a lesson today and it would've taken far longer for her to learn that being egotistical is not the way forward if I'd have sat her down and talked calmly to her." She said sarcastically.

"My daughter is _not_ egotistical."

"No she's not, but she behaves that way sometimes and she needs to stop now before it becomes a habit."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Get out of my office." Jac rolled her eyes as she knew he was going to say that before the thought had even occurred in his mind.

"Fine. But just make sure that you keep an eye on her at work from now on. I don't know how she's going to deal with this so we need to be vigilant."

"I'm _always_ vigilant of my junior doctors. Especially Zosia, given her history."

"Well then, I'll leave you to it."

"Finally." She muttered.

* * *

"Right you saw where the bathroom is on the way in." Jac spoke tiredly as she opened the door to the spare bedroom which had a double bed in the middle, fitted wardrobes along the length of the room, a bookshelf and a wooden chest of drawers. The whole three bedroom apartment had very modern décor which surprised Zosia a little as she expected the place to have bare walls and the bare minimum of furniture but the most surprising was the warm, homely feeling created by the odd children's toy dotted around the home. There was a clothes airer in the living room as they had walked past it and it had the tiniest little socks hung on it, along with little shirts and dresses. Some of Jac's blouses that Zosia recognised from work were hanging from the curtain pole to reduce the creases in them. "I think there's a new toothbrush in the cabinet above the sink–"

"I keep an overnight bag in my locker from when Ollie and I were together so I don't need anything, but thanks." Zosia interrupted as she gestured the gym bag she carried on the same shoulder as her handbag. Her eyes were beginning to sting from all the crying but she'd done her best to hide her tear stained face with some makeup whilst she waited for Jac to finish work.

"Mummy milk please." The two women looked down to see Emma looking up at her mother with a grin showing her full mouth of baby teeth.

"Come on then face ache." Jac couldn't help but smile at her little girl who, much unlike herself, was becoming rather polite after learning the words please and thank you. Zosia watched as Jac lifted her daughter up and balanced her on her hip before she walked through to what she presumed to be the kitchen. She stood there for a few minutes listening to the conversation between mother and child as Jac heated up some cow's milk for her toddler. Emma explained – in sentences no longer than five words – what she had done at the crèche that day and who she had lunch with and what she had for lunch, all whilst Jac pretended to sound interested to encourage her daughter to talk. How was it possible for her to be so different around her child and yet so icy at work?

* * *

Zosia March was sat on the sofa watching the evening news on the television that had the volume turned down very low on it because in the next room, Jac had just read a story with her daughter to send her off to sleep.

"Me see Daddy tomorrow?" The little girl asleep sleepily.

"Yeah, he's going to pick you up from the crèche tomorrow afternoon and you can spend tonight and tomorrow night with him." Jac replied softly. "And I'll make sure your favourite book is in your bag for tomorrow so you can take that with you."

"Drawings?"

"You can show Daddy your drawings too." Jac confirmed. "Goodnight Emma."

"No–"

"I'm not arguing about this Emma. You're tired aren't you?" She asked as she pleaded that for one night the toddler would be rational.

"Yes." The child sighed dramatically and a smile was brought to Zosia's face as she could tell Emma was most certainly Jac's daughter.

"Then it's time to sleep." She whispered. Zosia sat there, hearing nothing for several minutes so she presumed Jac was attempting to soothe the child to make her fall asleep before she left the room. She had begun to no longer pay attention when a floorboard creaked behind her and Jac spoke up.

"Right, I start work at nine tomorrow and then I'm oncall overnight so I'm going to bed."

"Okay. Thanks again, for letting me stay here tonight."

"It's not a problem." Jac replied.

"And I'm so sorry about the things I said earlier about you being alone. I can see now that you're not alone at all; I was being narrow minded."

"What things?" Jac asked playfully and Zosia was about to remind her of the spiteful things she had said when she realised what was going on.

"Thank you." She smiled a little. "Goodnight."

"Night."

* * *

The morning in Jac's apartment was entirely different to every single morning in the flat – it was calm, there was no rush because Jac had gotten up when her alarm actually went off instead of half an hour later like Zosia and Dom usually did and then fought over the shower. Emma was watching a children's show on the TV to keep her distracted whilst Jac sat at the breakfast bar in the open plan kitchen eating a bowl of muesli. Emma had already been fed because she had to eat _before_ she got dressed for the day, owing to the colossal mess she made with every meal. Zosia on the other hand had only woken ten minutes ago and she slipped past Jac in the kitchen to get a glass of water before the noise of foil breaking on a tray of tablets caused Jac to turn her attention to the junior doctor.

"It's lithium carbonate." Zosia declared.

"Good. You'd better keep on top of that medication." Jac stated.

"I will." She nodded as Jac put her empty bowl and spoon in the dishwasher.

"Now, I've got to get to work and take this one to the crèche. I presume you won't be coming in today?"

"No. Though I don't know how much time I'll take off yet."

"It's alright, you can take it a day at a time and see how you're feeling." Jac stated.

"I am going to go back to the flat today." She confessed. "I've been texting and I promised Dom. We're going to pack his things away – well the things that are in the living room anyway, I don't think we're going to touch his bedroom yet; we'll leave that for Morven. Sorry, I'm rambling. T-the point is, I'll sleep in my own bed tonight. But thank you for letting me stay here, I probably would've slept in the oncall room otherwise."

"And the bed in there is so bad that I sleep on the sofa in my office when I'm oncall." Jac quipped. "Come on Emma, we'd better get going." She switched the TV off with the remote and picked up a little pink rucksack, a small black suitcase and her own handbag. "Let yourself out when you're ready and the door will lock behind you." Jac ordered.

"You're trusting me in here by myself?"

"Well if you steal anything I'm a few clicks away from having your address, personal contact details, national insurance number – oh and I can ruin your career by sending just a few emails." She remarked.

"Point taken." Zosia concluded. "Please don't say anything about this or what happened yesterday at work."

"I won't. So long as you don't tell people at work about me reading Emma a story about talking animals."

"But you read story mummy." Emma protested. "Mummy read to Emma every night." She said to Zosia who grinned as Jac physically cringed in embarrassment.

"Have a good day at the crèche Emma. And say hi to your dad from me." Zosia smiled.

"Bye bye." Emma waved as her mother escorted her out the door and then closed it behind her. _Well what do you know?_ Zosia thought. _Jac Naylor does have a heart._


End file.
